Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Baby Holidays


Usually Lilah and I sit in the third row from the back when we go to church. Right in front of the family with the little boy and the new baby. This Sunday, we snuck in late (that's also usual...) and Lilah chose the very last row. The other family snuck in even later and sat in front of us.

While the minister spoke about this season being about a little baby... I started really observing the little baby right in front of me. When it is your own baby, you are so completely exhausted and overwhelmed... I've never had the chance to just watch a baby sleep before... without the "mom thoughts".

She was so - complete. I mean, not only was her little face so perfect, but she had everything she needed. She was wrapped up snuggly, had her mom and her dad and her brother right next to her. She was completely at peace.

I didn't even realize I was drawing her at first. (I found out later her name is "Phoebe").

My mind went from the significance of babies at Christmas to babies at New Year's. Just as Santa has taken over "the Holidays," parties, champagne, the New York Apple, and Resolutions have taken over New Year's Eve.  But I remember when I was little, the animated cartoon was about an old man and a new baby. It was very important that the Old Year be respected and acknowledged, and celebrated. It was just as important to make ready for the New Year - the excitement of the new baby and all the possibilities.

In the past few years, since my family split, I have had the lesson reinforced that children are not "ours" - they don't belong to us, like possessions. They may be treated like household belongings by the court, but we really only get to borrow them for a short time before they move on with their own lives. Having my children with me is a privilege. Even when they drive me crazy. And watching this little baby sleep in her bucket, I had the weird idea that time... each New Year... is a lot like a small child. We can't hold on to the time. We can't set crazy expectations of what we will accomplish or create out of that time. And it doesn't help to wish we had MORE time - or that the child would stay little. But we CAN enjoy each moment and appreciate having the time we have. I like the idea of sharing our joy, experiences, creativity and new knowledge - rather than setting "resolutions" and goals that just leave us disappointed at the end of the year. It's not a competition.

So whatever "new baby" you may be welcoming this year, I hope you take a moment to realize what a gift it is - no matter how exhausted it makes you! ;-)

Happy New Year everyone!


14 comments:

  1. What a wonderful post, Sandy. My "new baby" I am welcoming this year is the brand new downtown gallery and I will take your advice to realize what a gift it is no matter how much stress is involved. Happy New Year to you.

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    1. It will be very exciting to have your gallery right in Santa Fe! Good luck. :-)

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  2. . . . and may the baby of everlasting new creation be with us all.

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  3. Thanks Sandy, I loved reading your piece, it is all so true, cheers to all the possibilities.

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  4. Wonderful post Sandy. I wish you all the best for this new year.

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  5. Very nice thoughts in this post Sandy.
    I do not do "resolutions" on January 1 as I think they set bars that we so often fail to reach. I mean, it's a nice idea, but setting goals is a life long thing...not January 1. Your idea of "nurturing" the year like a child that is not your own...is actually a VERY deep philosophical thought! When you get older like me you will see your friends and family begin to leave you at an alarming rate.
    The "temporary" quality of life begins to make itself known to you very very soon. Family splits and severe illness are two things that often bring us up sharply to face this squarely. Not that you would wish either on anyone but they do have a "unique gift" side to them. Thank you for your generous sharing on your blog. I enjoy it thoroughly and I do your books which I treasure. I have decided to take CZT training in June.

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    1. My daughter was tired and cranky today (from staying up so late last night) and she whined "this year went SOOOO slowly!" And I had just been thinking that it had flown by and seemed to be going faster and faster!

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  6. Sandy, this was a wonderful and very insightful message. My husband and I are between babies right now, no more grandchildren and no great-grandchildren yet, so whenever I see a small baby I am full of memories and nostalgia. The other day, my grand-daughter's boyfriend met my dad, who is hale and hearty at 92 and said, almost with awe,"You're the oldest person I've ever met". How strange but probably true of many young people who have lost great-grandparents etc. It really hit home to me. We must treasure each and every day we live. Thank -you for your wonderful blogs and best wishes to you and yours in 2014!

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    1. It's nice (and unusual nowadays) to have many generations in a family. I miss my grandmother so much, especially this time of year. But I am grateful that both my kids got to meet her. She was in her mid-90's when she died. I think she would have easily made it to 100, like her brother, if she hadn't had a stroke. :-( She always told me, and the kids, that it is very important to stuff your childhood full of great memories and adventures, because that's all you may be left with when you get old.

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  7. Thank you Sandy- I loved your comment today. For the New year- health, joy, contentment, challenge, peace, awakening, love, accomplishment, laughter, growth, whimsey, contemplation...

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  8. What a very profound and wonderful insight! Thank-you so very much for sharing with us!! I have tried the resolution thing, but you are right in that it just seems to set us up for failure. The last couple years I have tried to make the "plan" on a broader base, and then appreciate any and all "baby steps" in the "right" direction. But still I feel unsatisfied with the closing of the last year. I feel like I missed something important, or "failed" in some way. Your insight is a nice tweak to the "New Year", and it has helped me look at things differently. So again THANK-YOU very much!!!

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  9. Beautifully said and written.

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  10. Babies are our reminder that we all started out the same way: perfect as God made us. In Oneness we are so able so see remnants of Our Source completing us. We are perpetually innocent and perfect no matter what transpires in our lives. The changeless in us is the Great Unchangeable. thanx for the reminder, Sandy
    Love, Marky

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